Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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