there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize