love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
