Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
