Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
