Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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