Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
