I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize