and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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