Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
