well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
