should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
