two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
We left an ass print on the piano.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
