I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
