guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
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