Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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