Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
