you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
