You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Randomize
