just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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