Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
It's blow job season.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
