i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
