:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Randomize
