Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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