Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
