It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
