after a month anything with tits is on the radar
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
