Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
