He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
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