She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
