D3 body, D1 cock
You just made me feel so damn special
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
