i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
