We named our party play list daddy issues
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
