I looked at my own cervix.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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