But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
