i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
