i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
This is classic penis vs brain.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
