We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
