Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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