Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
