Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
