How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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