You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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