Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Randomize
