When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Randomize
