My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
