I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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