She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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