I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
