We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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