Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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