i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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