I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
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