Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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