Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
